MOVING THE INVITRO TO A LATER DATE-EARLY NEXT YEAR!!!!!!

Me and hubby had a chat and decided that we are both not financially and emotionly ready for the invitro.
We are under a lot of stress at work and don't want to start the invitro  as well as our relationship is not strong to handle all the stress that invitro brings. We are constantly in each others hair.

We decided to give us self three months to relax and not think about having a child of our own and just try and enjoy our self till the end of the year then we would have saved enough to do two invitros back to back.

Im in two mind about our this.......on the one side i am happy to just feel like a normal person having fun and not worried about when im ovulating waiting for a period that takes forever to come but come it does....the flicker of hope the anticipation and then the heartache at the end of the day having to hide my sadness not to show ppl how weak i really am and to stay strong.

In the other mind i feel so guilty for moving the invitro to a later date.....i want to be a mother so bad but just can't handle all the stress of the invitro now.

Being an infertile is really not for the weak people.

Im trying to relax and not fall into a depression that im so scared that i would not be able to get out off.

Im taking each day as it comes some days are good some days are bad and some days i just cant seem to find any hope or joy in my life.

Im trying to leave my mind blank of any baby related topics or visits to family and friend that is very children orientated, its not that i don't want to see them its more that i don't want to put on a fake smile and be happy while my heart is in pieces .People dont always consider what we are going through so why must i be the one that must pretend that all is jolly go happy. We don't want useless hints of what to do and what not to do.........for heavens sake we are at a  professional   infertility doctor.....what advise can u give us that would help us that she has not given us......We just gonna try to fill my self up with things and people that make me happy and helps me to forget where i am now at the moment in my life.

We are very grateful for our family and friends that understand our pain and sorrow and respect our time off ..........we have the utter most respect for u people and you all know who u are..........

Let me be where i am now i am in my own happy place....................................