23 WEEKS UPDATE!!!!

What a wonderful feeling to know both babies is kicking. Baby b is not kicking so much as Baby A but at least he or she is getting there one or two kicks in. Today it dawned on me that in tree months our babies will be here and my pregnancy will be over.....i might not ever get pregnant again...this is it...i have waited so many years for this moment and now its going so fast.

Its a bitter/sweet situation...

Bitter for the fact that the pregnancy/feeling our babies kick / knowing that we have these two babies inside of me is ending soon and i might not ever experience it again where fertile people can just go and get pregnant when ever they like. You see i said its the bitter side of me....

Sweet because i will be a mommy and i will have my babies in my arms very soon and have the new joys of parenthood...feeling complete and just in love with the two that we have fought so long and hard to have in our lives. We are going to be a mommy and daddy and we so cant wait.


I think with men its different then with us ladies...we feel the bump growing we feel the movement and we make the mental connection to our children ..for them is they see the bump growing and feel the movement but not like us and still feel like they missing out on something....think that's why Christo needs to hold these babies so bad that it will make it real to him that he is a daddy now.



We moved into our own home this weekend and it garden is to die for...i can image n the twins playing in the trees and on the grass just the little perfect home for our little family of four plus our three doggies as well lol.

Now the fun starts with the baby room i got a woman that is making dinosaurs out of wood for the twins room...here is the preview so far.

God bless all my infertility sisters....may they all receive this blessing soon.

Love Cecilia

22 WEEKS UPDATE!!!!

Time is going by so fast.....Lucian and Alissa is doing very good...gyne is so happy with there growth and how the pregnancy is progressing. He says we going to try and push for 36 weeks with is just 14 weeks away...cant believe it ...in 14 weeks our twins might be here..i'm so happy and nervous and scared and excited all at the same time.

I don't have morning sickness anymore and i must say in overall i feel great...the twins is kicking up a storm and i just love the feeling of them moving inside me.

In total since starting our whole IVF process i have picked up 16kg....that is not the nice part of the pregnancy to find anything that fits is like mission in possible...i dress and re dress and then re dress with the hope of finding something that i feel comfortable in.

In overall i just cant wait to start the baby room....moving next week into our own little house....then starting the baby room.

So blessed to have these two angels in our life.

Thank you God.

20 WEEK FETAL ASSESSMENT SCAN!!!

Halfway!!!!

Seems still so unreal to think we are half way. Both Lucian and Alissa is growing on track and are two cute for words....i'm so excited for them to come...Lucian was sucking on his hand the whole time and turning his back on the sonar......seems like a real little shy guy and Alissa was the busy bee this time.

The scan was a whole 45min long scan and doc checked everything from top to toe....Hubby was in such a awe of these two he could not get enough and the smile on his face is priceless.

And the good news is that i'm starting to feel movement. Its like a little tug here and there and in the beginning i was not sure but its happening more and more everyday. I'm so excited ...cant wait for hubby to feel it too.

We moving into our new home soon and then we can start on the babies room...i cant wait everything is falling so nicely into place....

Thank you God if it was not for you and your constant blessings i don't know where we would have been now.

Love

Going on 19 weeks!!!!

Almost half way into the pregnancy and it still feels like a dream.  I have my on and off days i must admit...i'm no super woman.

I still have my occasional morning sickness....but i can cope with it.
Came down with the flu but its also seems to be passing, i'm getting rounder by the day...finding something to wear to work seems to becoming a problem but otherwise all seem to be going dandy.

Its in the up and coming weeks that i will start to feel the twins move the first time and i must admit i'm so eager...everyday is like i'm waiting for a suprize. Next week we going for our next Fetal assessment and i'm so excited. Feels like ages that i have not seen the twins.

Ia am  trying to buy a home of our own so i cant wait to move and start on the twins room.

Lots of excitement ahead...i love my belly d and i love these twins with all my heart.

Thank you God for keeping them save and sound in my belly where they belong till they are ready and healthy to be born.

Pic of my tummy at 19 weeks!!!!

Love

15 WEEKS AND 5 DAYS SCAN

What an amazing scan it was………………we found out the genders of our babies and are so excited to announce that we are having a little boy and little girl.

Baby Boy is 12.9cm and heart beat per minute is 170.

Baby Girl is 12.7cm and heart beat per minute is 170.

Both is growing on track and is kicking and moving like crazy, was so emotional to find out the genders and now it feels so real now.

We are truly so blessed to have these to baby’s.

We also decided on there names:

Lucian meaning light.

Alissa meaning  noble.

Now its its deciding the baby room…….what fun to have baby boy and girl.

Our family is very excited and they have brought gifts of the cutest outfits for the twins.

Next scan is on the 19 Ocotber  and will be a fetal assesment scan.

Today im n full 4 months pregnant and I feel huge already…..morning sickness seems to have ease up and I feel not so tired anymore, we are so blessed to be so far already…..cant wait to hold our babies in our arms.

Thank you Lord.

DID A SNEAKY SCAN ON FRIDAY TO SHOW MY HUSBAND OUR TWINS FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!!

Yes i caved and made an appointment with our local house doctor to do a scan so that my husband can see the twins as well.

What a special moment...i did not look at the screen a lot as i was mesmerized by the expression on his face as he was smiling and glowing as he was looking at our babies moving all over the scan.

. I think it seems more real to him now that he has seen them so active and busy on the screen.

Babies are doing great...growing very fast and moving around like crazy....one baby seems to be the one that likes all the screen time popping in the picture as soon as we are trying to measure the other baby. I have a feeling they are going to be as busy as there daddy.

I'm so in love with my family...it took us long to get here but here we are almost four months pregnant with our darling babies.

Hope that every couple that is struggling will soon experience the amazing feeling of being a mommy.

God Bless
Love to all

12 WEEKS AND FETAL ASSESSMENT!!!!!

What can i say except that we are extremely blessed to have healthy growing busy babies.

Went in for the fetal assessment and i must admit i was terrified....the lady doing the scans was so nice....and i have to say i am so happy to say that we have upgraded from a downstairs sonar to a tummy sonar...as usually my brother was the one that joined my appointment. He is my rock.

As i was laying there the lady kept saying LAY STILL...a couple of times and i was thinking geeeeeez woman i am not even moving...I think she saw the puzzled look on my face and  said "no not you the babies"...they where moving around so much she could not scan them. My heart just melted...they are the two most perfect little babies i have ever seen.

Baby A is a full 6.5cm with a perfect HBP of 168. and he\she is a real busy body kicking and waving the arms like she\he is saying hello Mommy can you see me.

Baby B is a full 6.4cm with a perfect HBP of 162. as you can see from my previous posts that he\she is catching up nicely in nice with the sibling. He\she was the calm baby laying there and just sucking thumb.

My baby brother was in total awe because he has never seen a sonar...it was so emotional and amazing.

Thou our infertility struggle was long and challenging i must admit....God's timing was perfect.

I am 13 weeks and 1 day today and have gained 6kg since we started our ICSI...the tummy is showing nicely and people are saying i am glowing.

I love the tummy .

We are in the process of buying our own home so all is going good.

Symptom wise....just now and then some morning sickness and that is all.

I hope all my infertility sisters receive this special gift very soon.

Love to all....

10 weeks 3 days

Had our second scan yesterday and i am so in love with our twins.

Gyne is very happy with both of babies progress...

Baby A is now 4.1cm
Baby B is now 3.8cm

Saw there little hearts beating and they where moving around.

So relieved that they are growing and doing so well.

When i left the Doc's office i was crying all the way home with tears of happiness.

My Delivery date is 11 March 2013

And we trying to buy house now so all is going good so far.

Now we can plan our baby room.

My lovely Aunt and Uncle from Lydenburg suprized us with buying a most of our baby thing for the baby room... basically everything we need.

Better Aunt and Uncle u wont get.

Thanx Aunt Leoni and Oom Willie

You are the best.

Love you lots.

Double Blessed!!!

Monday i will be 8 weeks and its still so unreal....the morning sickness has kicked in with full force and its a love hate relationship....love being having it because its a constant reminder that there is these to amazing lives growing inside of me and a hate for feeling nausea the whole time. But bring it on baby i'm gonna be a mother.

The the second symptom is the constant tiredness....i just want to sleep and sleep and sleep. I could never sleep in the middle of the day..now i'm sitting at work and planning if i get of at 12 i'm gonna go take a power nap.

The rest i feel normal....what i do love right now is the happiness  i see in my husband..the pure joy of knowing he is going to be a dad of his own biological children...he cant stop talking about when they there what he is going to teach them .....Life is good seeing him so happy.

My next sonar is on the 8 of August just cant wait.

Thank you Lord for giving us this wonderful little lives that we will treasure and look after. We ask you to keep your hand over them and pray for a full term pregnancy with healthy babies.

Amen.

WE EXPECTING...........TWINS!!!!!

We are so totaly in awe of God of blessing us with not one but two little lives.

What an emotional and scary day......i was laying there waiting for my scan and all these thoughts go through  my mind.....but all was okay and we having two healthy babies on board.

Baby a is 7.2mm with a heartbeat 130 bpm
Baby b is 5.4mm with a heartbeat 125 bpm

They where amazing hearing the beating hearts seeing the flikkering on the screen...my heart just melted.

Im so inlove with them already.....

Today i started feeling like a mommy.

Blessed by God twice.

Here is some pics of our little beans.

One week left to our fist scan!!!!

Still needs to sink in that we are pregnant....next week Friday will be our first scan and i'm so excited.

Please Lord let everything be ok and that our babies are growing strong and healthy.

Its just with God's grace that we have made it this far.

Totally Blessed.

Will update on our scan next week.

Beta number two!!!

Was so worried about our beta number 2.....been waiting and then there where so problems at the lab and i had to wait extra long but here it is.

13dp3dt = 986


we are so happy it made a perfect doubling and we still think we are having more than one baby....sonar is scheduled for the 20 July 2012. So hoping we can hear the heart beating.



symptoms none really just very tired and have a mild case of the flu.

Hugs.

BETA UPDATE AND STILL SO SURREAL!!!

This BFP still needs to sink in....i'm so in shock still and the excitement is so amazing.

We did a beta count yesterday and the results is in............

11dp3dt = 420

I cant believe it....our nurse said its a high number and we think it might be ........Twins.

If its one or two....we are still so blessed and thankful to God for giving us this life he created and trusting us to look after it.

Tomorrow i will be doing another Beta count and then 2 weeks later will be our first sonar. I'm 4 weeks pregnant and so happy and blessed.

Never in a million years would i have thought that i would be a mommy .....all home seemed so far. 

I'm sitting here at work with this stupid smile on my face and not having the ability to concentrate at all on my work. Still just trying to take it all in and enjoying every moment of this feeling.

Will update on my second beta count tomorrow.

Love to all.

AND HERE IS MY UPDATE!!!!!!

SO HERE IS MY UPDATE!!!!

Its been 11 days since my transfer and i must say i feel fine i will in a monent list my syptoms here ......dont know if its deu to the cronione or real symtoms.

1dp3dt-felt fine did not feel anything diffrent.

2dp3dt-bit cramping but no other symptom

3dp3dt-no more cramping but sore boobs 

4dp3dt-sore boobs, here and there cramping and very hungry.

5dp3dt- same as above

6dp3dt-same as above including vivid dreams and frequent urination

7dp3dt-had some AF cramps 

8dp3dt- woke up from the AF crams run to the toilet and did a toilet paper check and all is clear.

9dp3dt-same as above just here and there a twitch in my tummy

10dp3dt-netting nervous and having weird dreams and craving chocolate like crazy.

11dp3dt- test day is here and i have butterflies in my tummy. went for my bloods and waiting for the results

THE RESULTS IS IN..................ITS A BFP

IM PREGNANT ....STILL CANT BELIEVE GOD BLESSED US THIS WAY....THANK YOU GOD FOR BEING BY OUR SIDE AND BELIEVING IN US.

WILL NEVER FORGET THIS DAY.

DREAMS DO COME TRUE WITH THE HELP OF OUR ALL AMAZING GOD

AMEN

WOW WE MADE IT THIS FOR

Lucrin 

Lucrin

Menopur

Infertility Tattoo

Egg retrievel was on Monday ....and it was not so bad as i expected it to be......was sitting and waiting we where two couples waiting for egg retrievel....had to run up and down to sort out some paper work.....i was weeled in at 8am ....i was so scared....they put me on a drip and the kind lady said im gonna sleep nou and that was the last i can remember. I can remember a tug here and there while they where busy with the egg retrievel but was not in a lot of pain.............later on i waked up in a very drowsy state and then fell asleep again for a couple of minutes.......woke up and then decided its time to get dressed......i was not bleeding alot at all and i did expect to bleed.

We retrieved less eggies then what i expected but im still happy with the results......WE RETRIEVED 4 STUNNING EGGIES..i was so relieved.

Now it was the big wait for the fertilization report........phoned the next day and they said 3 fertilized and that embryo transfer wil be on the thursday at half past eleven.

We went on thursday and waited for the transfer ........my bladder was full and i was lying on the bed waiting for our embryo to come. I was so nervouse and excited....FS said our embryos where over achievers normaly embryos are on 6-8 cell on a day 3 transfer.....our embabies was one on 8 cell and the other one on 10 cell....FS was very pleased....hubby was sitting next to me while they transferd the embies and he could see the little bubble go into my womb.....i was so emotional i just started to cry and cry and cry.....

Here is to hoping that my two embabies inside me stick and the one left in the lab will grow big enough to become a snowbaby'

This is going to be the longest two weeks of my life....will be testing on the 2 July.

Im on two days bed rest and FS booked me of for ten days to relax.

Please pray for us as we pray for every couple that struggles to concieve

And a special prayer for you Melody......may you be blessed with a natural prenancy and problem free nine months.

ALL I CAN SAY IS THANK YOU GOD FOR BLESSING US.

It has been a emotional two weeks between the scans and not knowing what is going on and if we are still on track.

What i have learned about my body is that i am a real slow res ponder to die stimulation medication. We went from 1 Menopur to 2 Menopur to 3 Menopur and YES we made it to egg retrieval...can still not believe it but yes here we are. 

Egg retrieval went so smoothly.....i must say i was scared shitless.....for nothing of course lol....we had four eggies retrieved......and they are fertilized and we will do the egg transfer on Thursday at 10 o clock.

I feel so truly blessed that we have come this far. There was a couple of times that it was a touch and go that i truly thought that our cycle will be cancelled again due to poor respond but we had God on our side and he has guided and made us strong this cycle.

I had so many people that rooted for me

Thank you God for all the blessing u have showered us with and for listing to our prayers and being there and picking us up when we cant go on anymore.

There is hope for all and i pray that every person going through infertility will focus on God and not give up on there dream. 

WITH GOD ON OUR SIDE ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

Now we pray that our embabies snuggle in my womb and stay there for the remainder of the 9 wonderful months till we can meet our child or children.

Love to all.

Climbing up to the next step.

Had my CD2 scan today and all is good....i will start with the double dose of menopur tonight and down to 10ml lucrin in die morning with baby asprin and folic acid daily.

AF started on day 8 of lurin and i must said this cycle was the worst AF i had had in a long time.

I was crying in pain..the headaches come and go and i picked up 1.5kg. yikes i don't like the picking up weight.

I will be seeing our FS on Friday again to see the number of follies and the size as well.
So my wish for this week is GROW FOLLIES GROW.

I'm very nervous for the scans due to our last canceled cycle....hope my ovaries respond good to the menopur.

Please God bless us with cycle with a little bundle of joy.

All is in God's Hands.

Love
Me

DAY 4 OF LUCRIN INJECTIONS

Its day four of lucrin and injection my self....

I have to share yesterdays experience..........i injected myself twice once was an accident. Don't know how i was holding the needle but when it went into my skin i was unable to push the plunger in to inject the lucrin.
This resulted in me having to take out the needle and re insert it into my skin myself...needles to say..i did it and was shaking like a leave and very proud of myself....did i mention i am very afraid of needles lol.

Side effects:

Day 1 i had severe migraine attacks...it comes and it goes with nausea in between.
Day 2 slight headache but no nausea. and a spell of upset tummy. 
Day 3 no headache at all...Yay but was extremely tired for no apparent reason.
Day 4-headache is back...

Its still early days but I'm willing to take all the pain and all the side affects for a little bundle of joy.

Its God's will and we will accept it in our hearts.

Welcome Surietha

Yes we have a new member to the family, sadley not my own but an extention of me.

Yesterday was the birth of my little sister Surietha. She looks like a little angel.
Weight in at 2.7kg and no perfect health.

What a mixed emotion day it was for me. I cried but it was tears of joy and tears of happiness for the new sibling in my life.

We are starting our lucrin injections on friday for our long protocal ICSI and i cant wait to start.

A new beginning full of hope and fear .

I will keep u all updated of hou things are progressing but for now i im going to try and embrace and enjoy my new little sister and hope some of the baby love will rub off on me for when my time will come.

Much love to all my infertile sisters.

The Silent Prayer of a Childless Woman by: Jen Lehmann Wittum

The Silent Prayer of a Childless Woman
alternate title "The Silent Sorrow of a Childless Woman" * To the rest of the world she seems like everyone else. She gets up in the morning, drinks her coffee and goes to work. She smiles and treats people with respect. Little does the world know that inside, where no one can see, she feels dead. She feels that she’s missing out, that something is wrong with her, that maybe she is less of a woman than her friends and colleagues. Why does this woman feel that way? Because, she is a woman, yet she is unable to have a child. The one thing that most women take for granted, this woman would do anything to be able to do. * She cries as she prays. Why God, Why? “Why me” she wonders. For as long as she can remember she’s wanted to be a mom. To hear the pitter patter of tiny feet getting out of bed in the morning. To hear the little voices calling for mommy. To kiss the inevitable skinned knees. To love a tiny human. Yet, no matter the tests, the prayers, the tears, she is unable to have a child. * Her biggest question is WHY? Why can’t she have a child? Why is she barren when she hears on the news about the woman who allowed her boyfriend to abuse and kill her child. Why was that woman allowed to have a child when she can’t? She sees the woman who drags her child thru the store, feet barely touching the floor, sobbing as his mommy yells because she’s not wanting a child, why was she allowed to have a child. She sees the teenager who didn’t even want to be a mom, not even try, but she got pregnant anyway. Her heart aches each time she hears about someone else getting pregnant. She asks God “why Lord, why not me??? When is it my turn to be a mom??” * Yet, each morning she gets up and goes to work, acting like nothing is wrong. * She has seen and heard the habitual welfare moms, talking and joking about having another child and being glad as they’ll get more assistance. She hears the teenager laughing about being pregnant, saying that her mom will take care of the baby. She hears the complaints of the lady in the line ahead of her with two kids and one on the way about how tired she is of being pregnant. She hears it all in silence. All the while yearning to have a child of her own. The world doesn’t see, yet inside, behind the smile, she is silently crying. Arguing with God. Wondering what she has done in her life that is so bad that now as an adult, with a heart full of love, she cannot have a child of her own. * She has been to the doctors. She has had the tests. Yet there is still no answer as to why. She gets the questions from well-meaning people asking when she is going to have a child. People asking why she’s waited so long to have children. People mean well, but they don’t look past the pat answers. They give the same answers “all in God’s time” or the best one “why don’t you just adopt? You know as soon as you do you’ll get pregnant.” * She shows the world her smile, her strength, yet in her heart she lives in sadness. A silent prison. One that seems to have no escape. Do you know this woman? Do you know her pain? I bet you do. There are more of these women in this world than people know. She is me. She could be the woman that was in front of you at the grocery store. Or maybe the one that was pumping gas beside you yesterday. Don’t worry, she doesn’t hate you, in fact, if you’re her best friend she loves you. Yet, she still hurts. She hurts because she can’t join the mommy club with you. She hurts because that one most basic tenant of being a woman is denied to her. She is happy for her friends, family and colleagues, yet she hurts and smiles to the world to keep that hurt hidden. She hurts and wonders “why?”

HOW TO FEEL??

So my dad is expecting a little girl and my brother a little boy and me ...........how do i feel......i feel blank....empty dark and just so so sad.

Its not that i'm not happy for them i just don't know how to feel.....its hard to smile when u in a deep dark hole where u feel u don't have anything to smile about.

Why do i have to feel like this?
Why do i have such a urge to have a baby of our own?
Why cant i just stop feeling?

Infertility is a real faith testing experience......i found myself wondering a couple of times about why is God testing me why is God hating me so much to bring so much heartache into our life.

I don't have the answers to my questions and nor do i think i ever will but i like to think that God is preparing me for bigger and better things in life.

I'm truly trying to stay faithful

So i just have another six months to go till there babies are born....six months to go by pretending i.m happy and i3m okay..

1. finding out they are pregnant - done and still alive
2. finding out the sex of the babies- done and still alive
3. the baby showers-scared to death.

My heart is bleeding and i don't know how to repair it.

WAITING FOR MY TIME TO COME

TODAY IS ONE OF THOSE DAYS!!!

Today is one of those days that i want to just want to pack up and leave and go so far where nobody know me...this canceled cycle is hitting me more hard than what i would have thought.

Waiting now for April to start our next cycle is torture......not doing anything just waiting is driving me crazy.

Its so hard coping with all these negative feelings...i don't have energy for anything..i feel drained  physically and emotionally. MY SPIRIT IS BROKEN. MY HEART IS BLACK.

i sometimes question why bad shit always happens to me, im i getting punished for something i did....

Sexual molestation, physical abuse, emotional abuse, infertility.....when will i find my happiness....my place of calmness my true love my happy ever after....yes suicide have crossed my mind a few times....there is only so much one person can handle....but then i think of my baby brother and i know if i did anything right in my life it was looking after him. 

I really hope my family understands..that me not going to them so much have nothing to do with them but more with me and my inner demons....i try to stay positive and look towards the future but there is this nagging feeling that nothing is ever going to go right.....family events is like a huge mountain in front of me....i would rather not try and clime it because the fall is so much harder and standing up is even worst.

Yesterday i just cried and cried and cried....hoping that i would feel much better but it does not work like that for me.....i'm sad, angry, feeling sorry for myself, and i hate feeling like this.

Tomorrow is another day tomorrow i will feel better.....some days it does other days its worst.

I need to get out of this dark place....

I'm counting now my days, wishing the time away till our next cycle.....i need to focus on the time ahead of us coz now i'm just there no emotions.....an empty shell walking around.

I'm waiting for God to entrust us with a wonder baby.

Jeremiah 29:11


for i know the plans i have for you," declares the LORD," plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give u hope and a future.

I'm i'm leaving everything in God's hands.......i will do what i can from my side but in the end its God's will.

Devestation as first ICSI cycle is cancelled!!!!

I'm totally heart broken.....my follicles stopped growing at 10mm thou i was on double dose menopur.

It felt like i was hit with a brick in the face....i did not know my body has so many tears....i cant stop crying.

Basically the short protocol low stimulation is not the right cycle for us. We are advise to do high stimulation long protocol for our next cycle but the catch is it cost roughly about R23 000. I'm honest...we don't have that kind of cash laying around, so it broke my heart to think we wont be able to do the cycle.

My mom is an angel....she is giving me R17 000 to do our next cycle and it just broke me to think that she loves me so much that she would do this for me.

Me and my Husband we are at War....i wants to me to give up ....he never really wanted this.....i cant give up on my dream.

All we do is save save save.....a failed or cancel cycle is not just sad because the chance of having my own bundle of joy is not happening its the fact that we are lost our saving and have to start from scratch to get to my dream.

I know we must not ask why...but i cant help it. Why must we struggle like this why do other people get it so easy and don't appreciated it and us that are longing for a family needs to struggle our asses off.

I thought that today i will feel better and today i will be positive ......we got the money to do another cycle so why am i still so bitter and angry i am truly starting to hate myself for who i have become.

The answer is i'm tired..... emotionally and bodily i'm tired and i need energy and renewed hope to start again .And that is going to time time......

I take my hat of for these ladies that goes through miscarriage, failed cycles, cancelled cycles.

So the new POA

Going to try  prepare mentally for the next cycle and then waiting for AF that hopefully will arrive before 8 Feb then we will be starting the next cycle.

But for now i need time to heal.

An interfiles life is never easy.

Never take things , people experience for granted...life is short we never know what will happen tomorrow. 

Scan update for today.

17 follicles and they are +- 10mm and doing a US on Friday again and if all is well then we will do the ER on Monday or Tuesday....Keeping my fingers crossed for nice size follicles.

FS was happy with everything but somehow i felt like i failed like my body is fighting against me and was in tears on our way home the amount of tears and hurt my baby brother had to endure with me breaks my heart even more.  I Want everything just to be perfect and i know its not in my hand but in God's hands.

Here is to me trying to be more patiently.......and not stressing so much about thing i can't control.

Will update on Friday of the follicles growth.

Grow follies Grow.

In process

Sjoe where to start....had this weeks meds and injections and it was not as bad as i thought it would be.....i do feel like a druggie with the mixing and injecting the Menopur but im loving it...its good to feel that i am are starting the process and thing is starting to happen.

I had some mild side effects from the medication:

1.  Headaches that come and go...nothing i cant control.
2.  Flu like symptoms(was so scared it was the flu but it is luckily not)
3.  Very emotional(then not a good idea to watch EXPECTING A MIRACLE) 

We doing our fist scan Wednesday and i must say i'm so nervous....hoping for good follies with some great eggs.

So far im handling the whole experience very well.....

I lost a lot of weight due to stress and feel bit weak but will get back to my old self 

Will update on Wednesday.........keep fingers crossed.

The time has finally come.

I am so super excited to start our ICSI and ready to get the ball rolling.

Om the 19 December my  birthday  i started om femodene to regulate my period...and since then i had non stop spotting for the past 15 days. I was a lil worried but consulted dr Google and it seems that its common and won't have any negative effect on our cycle.

Im gonna stop drinking the Femodene on the 7th then we starting our cycle.

I'm so emotional and excited 'm praying for a positive outcome.

Lord i know we have done all we could to prepare ourselves for this child that only u can create and we know the rest is all in you hands.

Lord make us strong to handle what ever u see fit to bring into our lifes.

Thank you lord for teaching us the importance of believing and hope and faith in u.

We are strong and we will be rewarded.

Here is to a positive outcome this cycle.