It felt like i was hit with a brick in the face....i did not know my body has so many tears....i cant stop crying.
Basically the short protocol low stimulation is not the right cycle for us. We are advise to do high stimulation long protocol for our next cycle but the catch is it cost roughly about R23 000. I'm honest...we don't have that kind of cash laying around, so it broke my heart to think we wont be able to do the cycle.
My mom is an angel....she is giving me R17 000 to do our next cycle and it just broke me to think that she loves me so much that she would do this for me.
Me and my Husband we are at War....i wants to me to give up ....he never really wanted this.....i cant give up on my dream.
All we do is save save save.....a failed or cancel cycle is not just sad because the chance of having my own bundle of joy is not happening its the fact that we are lost our saving and have to start from scratch to get to my dream.
I know we must not ask why...but i cant help it. Why must we struggle like this why do other people get it so easy and don't appreciated it and us that are longing for a family needs to struggle our asses off.
I thought that today i will feel better and today i will be positive ......we got the money to do another cycle so why am i still so bitter and angry i am truly starting to hate myself for who i have become.
The answer is i'm tired..... emotionally and bodily i'm tired and i need energy and renewed hope to start again .And that is going to time time......
I take my hat of for these ladies that goes through miscarriage, failed cycles, cancelled cycles.
So the new POA
Going to try prepare mentally for the next cycle and then waiting for AF that hopefully will arrive before 8 Feb then we will be starting the next cycle.
But for now i need time to heal.
An interfiles life is never easy.
Never take things , people experience for granted...life is short we never know what will happen tomorrow.
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